Lipstick & the Leash:
Dog Training a Woman's Way
It redefines power and leadership from Nature’s own perspective, where boundaries replace confrontation and psychological control is more effective than physical dominance or strength. LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH is teaching quiet power and changing the lives of dogs and humans alike.
“Stand up straight, dear.” “Don’t mumble.” “No one finds that frown attractive.” “Be a lady and stick to your principles.”
My mother’s words still ring in my ears. Through my childhood, teens, and college years, her advice and her role model of grace, kindness, and quiet strength were instrumental in preparing me for an effective and successful life. I had no idea, however, that her advice was also preparing me to be a dog trainer!
The animals on our farm were also my teachers. In their own way, they taught me the true nature of power and influence. The Queen of the Herd, the Lead Horse, and the Top Dog all got there without serious fighting or confrontation. Instead they used body language, boundaries, focus, and quiet determination to achieve and hold their positions of power. Had my mother been talking to them, too?
When I started my dog training business over twenty years ago, I did house calls. It was usually women who sought out my help because they were being overwhelmed by the family dog. They were either mad and yelling, or being overly permissive and smothering which made them ineffectual and the dogs ran their lives. Because these were house calls, I also got to observe their kids. Invariably, the women that could not control their dogs, could not control their kids.
Something started to click in my brain. The very skills these women needed to control their dogs were the SAME ones they needed to control their kids… and probably other parts of their lives as well.
- Don’t yell; stay calm
- Set the boundaries and then enforce them
- Be a leader, not a friend, a follower or a doormat
- Power is achieved through control, not confrontation (fights and confrontation in the animal world are the exception, not the rule)
- Leadership is about being effective, not being loud (the dog doing the barking and the woman doing the yelling are not powerful or effective; the leaders are the quiet ones that simply get the job done)
- If you don’t set your boundaries, no one respects you – not your peers, or your dog.
Because the vast majority of the dog-owning families leave dog responsibilities to us women, literally thousands of you have come to me over the years – feeling powerless, frustrated and defeated. You assume that dog training requires either masculine strength and bravado (which you do not possess) or endless cookies and treats (which you are reluctant to use or have not solved your issues). You are desperate for help.
I am passionate about helping women and saving dogs. If you have a dog that seems beyond control, don’t give up! Read this book. Your dog is not impossible; he’s just confused because you are not communicating in his language. He ignores your frustration and yelling because he sees it as weakness, not strength. Learn the secrets of calm, effective power and leadership in this book and you will be amazed at the turnaround in your dog. Try it on your kids, your husbands and your co-workers while you’re at it! What makes LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH special is that it points out the profound parallels between canine behavior and that of human beings. We are all connected! The nature of power, how it is achieved quietly, and how clever leadership uses that power to influence (not force) the behavior of others is the real message of LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH. Dog training becomes a metaphor for life!
By focusing on a woman’s special challenges in dog training, and revealing her hidden strengths, LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH can help you discover your Inner Leader, train a dog that will make you and your family proud and, ultimately, give you a road map for getting more of what you want in life.