nature's wisdom for today's woman

Camilla’s Books

Our best comes out when we have honest discussions.” ~Fernando Flores

What People Like You Are Saying about Cracking The Harmony Code!

“As a professional woman who has worked her way through the system in companies large and small, I can say that the new insights and perspective in Cracking the Harmony Code are unlike any I have read before. This book offers a whole new approach to climbing the ladder at work and leading more effectively once you reach the top. ‘Influence through Instinct’ is a game-changer but was never taught in my business school curriculum nor addressed in any of the career self-help books I have read. I recommend this book for anyone in the workplace, from new hire to seasoned pro!”
Susan G.
Professional Woman and Small Business HR Manager
“Such profound thoughts and memories this book illuminated for me! Joyous and sad, bittersweet and delicious. I only wish I had the knowledge in Cracking the Harmony Code thirty years ago, to guide my ex-husband and me through the ‘murk’ of our relationship and transform our marriage.”
Tina K.
Single Professional Woman and Continuing Student of Relationship Sucess
“Cracking the Harmony Code offers a fresh perspective into the intricacies of human relationships and fascinating new insights into relating with others. Taking cues from the animal kingdom, the author offers road-tested suggestions for how the human species can get along with others by meeting people ‘where they live.’ Her parenting tips would have been especially helpful to me years ago when my three grown children were young!”
Wendy N.
Professional Woman and Mother of 3
“I usually avoid ‘self-help’ books, as I find them too obvious and often boring. Cracking the Harmony Code is different! Well-written and intriguing, I was fascinated by the parallels between the instincts of the animal world and our own relationships. The author’s honesty, personal experiences and enlightenment kept my interest, and I even found myself nodding in agreement as I got further and further into the book. With my new awareness of ‘influence through instinct,’ it will be hard to look at relationships the same way again. A must-read for anyone that strives for harmony at work or at home!”
Karen E.
Retired Teacher, Married 50 years and Mother of 2

Cracking the Harmony Code:

Nature’s Surprising Secrets for Getting Along While Getting Your Way

In Cracking the Harmony Code, award-winning entrepreneur and best-selling author, Camilla Gray-Nelson, reveals Mother Nature’s secret code for achieving personal and professional goals. Using “influence through instinct,” she guides you up Nature’s Harmony Pyramid to its pinnacle of success, peace and happiness.

The Story Behind "Cracking the Harmony Code"

“Look deep into Nature, and then you will understand everything better.”
~ Albert Einstein

In Cracking the Harmony Code, I share with you Nature’s amazing secrets for maintaining social harmony—a harmony necessary for pursuing personal goals that require willing cooperation from others. Believe it or not, these secrets are what I learned from years of careful study and observation growing up on our family farm in Northern California and then working professionally for decades training animals and their people. Through my lifelong work and experience, I have come to realize that despite intelligence and socialization, we humans are still members of the Animal World! Hidden deep within us seem to lurk the very same instincts that drive and influence our dog’s behaviors and, for that matter, the behaviors of many other social mammals. Not only do our deepest instincts seem the same as those of other animals, but so do our processes of achieving and maintaining social harmony. 

If we accept this basic premise that humans are animals, too, I believe we can learn how to influence human behavior in our favor, while maintaining social harmony in the process—as all other animals manage to do. Simply by understanding Nature’s path to harmony and by using a few animal secrets for ourselves, we can get greater cooperation from others in this same, peaceful manner. I have road-tested the principles and methods I share in this book by helping many hundreds of people who have walked through my company’s doors asking for help solving issues causing discord and friction in their lives. The methods I share with them and in this book, I use in my own life as well. I have built a seven-figure business from the ground up, have a successful and happy marriage of nearly thirty years, and live on an idyllic farm in the heart of Northern California’s beautiful wine country with the life of peace and purpose I always dreamed of having—all by utilizing these secrets and methods. You can, too.

Although the secrets and advice in this book can be used by everyone, it is written particularly for women—women who are struggling to get ahead; exhausted and stressed out by juggling work and family; trying to raise healthy well-adjusted kids in a difficult world; or trying to keep peace at home with their husbands and at the office with their coworkers. This book reveals how, by understanding universal instincts and Nature’s unwritten rules of social harmony, you can make small shifts in the way you approach and perceive your closest relationships. Those small shifts can help you understand and anticipate behaviors in those around you so you can cleverly redirect them to achieve the results you truly want. With this new perspective and the practical tools which I outline in this book, you can leave behind anger and frustration and calmly go about getting what you want and need at work, at home, and in relationships. You can also avoid the pitfalls on the path to your goals that so often siderail success and devolve your well-intentioned determination into conflicts, misunderstandings, and struggles.

While the subject matter is serious, you will find my writing style is intentionally breezy and conversational, like a friend talking to a friend. My hope is that you will believe what I tell you so my message can make a positive difference in your life. Within these pages, you are sharing the same sacred circle of trust I have with my private clients. I know these techniques can work because they are Nature’s techniques for more peaceful, effective living and I see them help nearly every client that tries them. I did not “invent” the Harmony Code; I am simply the interpreter. If you begin to understand these simple but profound concepts and put into practice the advice in this book that is built upon them, I know you can see your life become happier, calmer, and more fulfilled.

Camilla Gray-Nelson

“Look deep into Nature, and then you will understand everything better.” 
~ Albert Einstein

In Cracking the Harmony Code, I share with you Nature’s amazing secrets for maintaining social harmony—a harmony necessary for pursuing personal goals that require willing cooperation from others. Believe it or not, these secrets are what I learned from years of careful study and observation growing up on our family farm in Northern California and then working professionally for decades training animals and their people. Through my lifelong work and experience, I have come to realize that despite intelligence and socialization, we humans are still members of the Animal World! Hidden deep within us seem to lurk the very same instincts that drive and influence our dog’s behaviors and, for that matter, the behaviors of many other social mammals. Not only do our deepest instincts seem the same as those of other animals, but so do our processes of achieving and maintaining social harmony.

If we accept this basic premise that humans are animals, too, I believe we can learn how to influence human behavior in our favor, while maintaining social harmony in the process—as all other animals manage to do. Simply by understanding Nature’s path to harmony and by using a few animal secrets for ourselves, we can get greater cooperation from others in this same, peaceful manner. I have road-tested the principles and methods I share in this book by helping many hundreds of people who have walked through my company’s doors asking for help solving issues causing discord and friction in their lives. The methods I share with them and in this book, I use in my own life as well. I have built a seven-figure business from the ground up, have a successful and happy marriage of nearly thirty years, and live on an idyllic farm in the heart of Northern California’s beautiful wine country with the life of peace and purpose I always dreamed of having—all by utilizing these secrets and methods. You can, too.

Although the secrets and advice in this book can be used by everyone, it is written particularly for women—women who are struggling to get ahead; exhausted and stressed out by juggling work and family; trying to raise healthy well-adjusted kids in a difficult world; or trying to keep peace at home with their husbands and at the office with their coworkers. This book reveals how, by understanding universal instincts and Nature’s unwritten rules of social harmony, you can make small shifts in the way you approach and perceive your closest relationships. Those small shifts can help you understand and anticipate behaviors in those around you so you can cleverly redirect them to achieve the results you truly want. With this new perspective and the practical tools which I outline in this book, you can leave behind anger and frustration and calmly go about getting what you want and need at work, at home, and in relationships. You can also avoid the pitfalls on the path to your goals that so often siderail success and devolve your well-intentioned determination into conflicts, misunderstandings, and struggles.

While the subject matter is serious, you will find my writing style is intentionally breezy and conversational, like a friend talking to a friend. My hope is that you will believe what I tell you so my message can make a positive difference in your life. Within these pages, you are sharing the same sacred circle of trust I have with my private clients. I know these techniques can work because they are Nature’s techniques for more peaceful, effective living and I see them help nearly every client that tries them. I did not “invent” the Harmony Code; I am simply the interpreter. If you begin to understand these simple but profound concepts and put into practice the advice in this book that is built upon them, I know you can see your life become happier, calmer, and more fulfilled.

Camilla Gray-Nelson

What People Like You Are Saying about Cracking The Harmony Code!
“As a professional woman who has worked her way through the system in companies large and small, I can say that the new insights and perspective in Cracking the Harmony Code are unlike any I have read before. This book offers a whole new approach to climbing the ladder at work and leading more effectively once you reach the top. ‘Influence through Instinct’ is a game-changer but was never taught in my business school curriculum nor addressed in any of the career self-help books I have read. I recommend this book for anyone in the workplace, from new hire to seasoned pro!”
Susan G.
Professional Woman and Small Business HR Manager
“Such profound thoughts and memories this book illuminated for me! Joyous and sad, bittersweet and delicious. I only wish I had the knowledge in Cracking the Harmony Code thirty years ago, to guide my ex-husband and me through the ‘murk’ of our relationship and transform our marriage.”
Tina K.
Single Professional Woman and Continuing Student of Relationship Sucess
“Cracking the Harmony Code offers a fresh perspective into the intricacies of human relationships and fascinating new insights into relating with others. Taking cues from the animal kingdom, the author offers road-tested suggestions for how the human species can get along with others by meeting people ‘where they live.’ Her parenting tips would have been especially helpful to me years ago when my three grown children were young!”
Wendy N.
Professional Woman and Mother of 3
“I usually avoid ‘self-help’ books, as I find them too obvious and often boring. Cracking the Harmony Code is different! Well-written and intriguing, I was fascinated by the parallels between the instincts of the animal world and our own relationships. The author’s honesty, personal experiences and enlightenment kept my interest, and I even found myself nodding in agreement as I got further and further into the book. With my new awareness of ‘influence through instinct,’ it will be hard to look at relationships the same way again. A must-read for anyone that strives for harmony at work or at home!”
Karen E.
Retired Teacher, Married 50 years and Mother of 2

Other Books by Camilla Gray-Nelson

Lipstick & the Leash:
Dog Training a Woman's Way

It redefines power and leadership from Nature’s own perspective, where boundaries replace confrontation and psychological control is more effective than physical dominance or strength. LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH is teaching quiet power and changing the lives of dogs and humans alike.

“Stand up straight, dear.” “Don’t mumble.” “No one finds that frown attractive.” “Be a lady and stick to your principles.”

My mother’s words still ring in my ears. Through my childhood, teens, and college years, her advice and her role model of grace, kindness, and quiet strength were instrumental in preparing me for an effective and successful life.   I had no idea, however, that her advice was also preparing me to be a dog trainer!

The animals on our farm were also my teachers.  In their own way, they taught me the true nature of power and influence.  The Queen of the Herd, the Lead Horse, and the Top Dog all got there without serious fighting or confrontation.  Instead they used body language, boundaries, focus, and quiet determination to achieve and hold their positions of power.  Had my mother been talking to them, too?

When I started my dog training business over twenty years ago, I did house calls. It was usually women who sought out my help because they were being overwhelmed by the family dog.  They were either mad and yelling, or being overly permissive and smothering which made them ineffectual and the dogs ran their lives.  Because these were house calls, I also got to observe their kids. Invariably, the women that could not control their dogs, could not control their kids.

Something started to click in my brain.  The very skills these women needed to control their dogs were the SAME ones they needed to control their kids… and probably other parts of their lives as well.

  • Don’t yell; stay calm
  • Set the boundaries and then enforce them
  • Be a leader, not a friend, a follower or a doormat
  • Power is achieved through control, not confrontation  (fights and confrontation in the animal world are the exception, not the rule)
  • Leadership is about being effective, not being loud (the dog doing the barking and the woman doing the yelling are not powerful or effective; the leaders are the quiet ones that simply get the job done)
  • If you don’t set your boundaries, no one respects you – not your peers, or your dog.

Because the vast majority of the dog-owning families leave dog responsibilities to us women, literally thousands of you have come to me over the years – feeling powerless, frustrated and defeated.  You assume that dog training requires either masculine strength and bravado (which you do not possess) or endless cookies and treats (which you are reluctant to use or have not solved your issues).  You are desperate for help.

I am passionate about helping women and saving dogs. If you have a dog that seems beyond control, don’t give up!  Read this book.  Your dog is not impossible; he’s just confused because you are not communicating in his language.  He ignores your frustration and yelling because he sees it as weakness, not strength.  Learn the secrets of calm, effective power and leadership in this book and you will be amazed at the turnaround in your dog.  Try it on your kids, your husbands and your co-workers while you’re at it!   What makes LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH special is that it points out the profound parallels between canine behavior and that of human beings.  We are all connected! The nature of power, how it is achieved quietly, and how clever leadership uses that power to influence (not force) the behavior of others is the real message of LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH. Dog training becomes a metaphor for life!

By focusing on a woman’s special challenges in dog training, and revealing her hidden strengths, LIPSTICK AND THE LEASH can help you discover your Inner Leader, train a dog that will make you and your family proud and, ultimately, give you a road map for getting more of what you want in life.

Enjoy.

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